March 12, 2026

Hi from the past, Reader!
It’s March 11, heading into midnight. I'll finish this (and you'll get this) on March 12. I’m prepping it early which I almost never do because tomorrow I'm to Arizona where I'll be for 5 whole weeks!

It is a looooong time, I'll basically be moving there for a month. Also it will fly right by, as these sorts of things always do. It is both a huge chunk of time to get to spend with family and also a very short time to do all the many tasks and activities and hang outs that are already on the agenda.

Comically, a year ago today I shared about moving into my new office (the one that is now my old office) so apparently early spring is a time I move a lot (beginning of April 2021 is when I moved into my house!)

Last year today, I shared this juicy nugget with you all:

“This is a fast-paced world. We are action oriented - meaning we recognize and value things that look like movement, especially big movement.

Action is fantastic, but in the transtheoretical model of change, it is the last step of a long process, and it is by no means the most important one.

The beginning steps are where the magic is happening.

Think about it. When you summit a mountain and take that glorious selfie on top of the world, the moment being captured, shared, and celebrated was really only about .0001% of the over all journey it took to get there. That final step, the one we are all so keen on, came after thousands of other steps that looked like not much of anything.

Unless the time was taken to recognize them for what they were.”

-From the SiM newsletter, 'Rapid changes, or are they?'

Clearly, last year change was on my mind and in my material world.

This year, I’m about to spend a whole month living where I don’t actually live - except that for those five weeks, I will be living my life there. So I both live there (it is where I spent my first 26 years after all, doesn't that make it forever home?) and I don’t. Both both both...

Change is often thought of as a process that leads to something permanent. The step between “here” and “there”. “There” feels so very concrete when it’s talked about that way, and “change” feels like a temporary thing, a state we move through to get to where we’re going.

Except we’re always going. Change is always. Sure, there are “here”s and “there”s that we experience, but like the message I wrote 365 days ago suggests, those are really just little markers along a never-ending trail we wander along, creating that trail as we go.

Change is the constant. Change is the place that we live in. So it’s both. It is always both, always both and…

Holding complexity is hard, isn't it? Staying in the land of uncertainty and unfinished stories is not super comfortable. Most of us read books, watch movies, listen to podcasts or scroll so we can experience things that feel like they have a clear start and a clear end. We orient ourselves around weekends and we think about how good things will feel once “this part is done”.

That’s fair. It’s obvious that it helps our minds to “complete” something, to feel like we can set down our awareness and attention and just rest for a bit, or shift focus to something else without the nagging sense of leaving something left “undone”.

But also it takes holding both very fully - very carefully - to do most anything that feels meaningful in this life. Think about a relationship. Some of the juiciest moments in any relationship between two people come when the individuals involved are both fully present with themselves and with each other. The work day sucks less when you are aware that you are moving toward the end of it as soon as it starts and you actually find a groove in the process of doing the work. Food is something you eat so that you have nourished yourself. You want to have the cake, and you want to eat it too.

I don't need to tell you all the ways holding multiple perspectives and really looking at the complexities of life is critical - in this super-polarized time period, so many of us are striving to see the nuance, to be in the nuance so we can intentionally and skillfully create change. If you have live in that nuance all the time, you feel it, you feel the exhaustion that comes from knowing something is worth working toward even though we might not ever personally see what's on the other side of the change we are participating in making.

So my invitation this week is to inhabit the nuance a little differently.

To those of you who stay in the complexity - those of us who live in the gray area all the time - give yourself permission to lean into those stories with beginnings and endings. If you live or play or work in the land of nuance all the time, maybe take a little side quest into a short story or a mini series that wraps up with a nice little bow on it (I recommend The Residence). Make a piece of art and declare it finished. Notice that the meal you cooked is done, and now you get to eat it. Savor that.

To those of you who find yourself leaning often into the sensations of completion, the world of “it’s this or it’s that”, “I am here or I am there”, I invite you to play a version of the “yes, and” game. When you catch yourself reaching for a simple conclusion, a clean answer to a messy problem, or a distraction in story form of some kind - try directing your attention toward complexity for just a moment. It might look like this:

"Yes, that is one way of seeing things, and also, I could see it this way instead (insert different perspective here that you might actually genuinely find plausible)."
Or
"Yes, that TV show does look like I would enjoy it, and I wonder if there's anything happening in my life/my relationships/the world around me that could really use some of my attention before I watch it".

Change is always where we live; change takes energy to enact. And we deeply benefit from a way of looking at things that has some structure, some constants, some places to pause and rest, to just be for a moment and recoup; we need to replenish energy.

Let both be real for you.

If you are in AZ (Phoenix and Tucson, namely) and you want some in-person sessions with me hit me up: 720.282.9667. I'm down to support you in the changes you are living in.
Phx: March 16 - April 9th
Tucson: April 13-16

If you are anywhere else - you know you can catch me for a virtual session any time of year.

For people who are ready to give 6 months of attention, care, and focus to something you are changing - something in your relationship to your body, your significant other, or another part of your life - I have space to take on 4 more committed clients - is one of them you? Set up a good fit session and let's make a plan.

If you know someone you think is ready and interested in some awesome work, forward them this, nudge them to subscribe or text me, or otherwise send them my way :)

See you in the desert!

Kate

Did somebody forward you this and you want more of this pleasure-packed goodness? Subscribe here and get some SiM lovin' in your inbox every week.

Liked these thoughts in word form and want more of them? Help support where they came from: